Men are from Mars
by Ivy Stone
Summary: CHAPTER 2 IS UP PEOPLE, IF MEN ARE FROM MARS, THEN WHERE ARE WOMEN FROM?
1. Default Chapter

Men are from Mars

                The only thing Spike needed was peace, quite, and tranquility, he of course got none of these

"Stop it Faye, your being obnoxious." Jett said to Faye. Faye smiled and clicked off the computer

"Am I?" She asked innocently. Jett mumbled and went to the back room. Spike tried not to look up at Faye from the couch, because if he did, she would surely get smart with him. The Bebop clicked and shifted then Faye decided to strike up a conversation with Spike

"So." She said leaning over.

"Yes?" Spike asked rolling over to face the couch.

"What's the next bounty?" she asked. Spike muffled something then sat up

"I don't feel like bounty hunting." He said gruffly. Faye rolled her eyes. Spike stood up, then turned

"Just because you can get Jett angry, doesn't mean it works for me to."

"What do you mean." Faye asked.

"You know what I mean." Spike sulked and walked away.

                There was a bounty, in fact Spike and Jett had intended on getting it alone. Faye usually wasn't this annoying, but something had gotten into her. But Spike wasn't the type to get into girl issues. He moved past the main dock, jumped off the front and walked down the harbor. He couldn't keep track of which city he was in, more the less, what planet. He walked down the crowded streets and found a nice park to sit at. He put on his observation glasses. The bebop was tracking down some young guy with the name of Simon. That was it. Luckily Jett found a picture of him. This guy had fair skin, red hair, blue eyes, and a sharp nose. He was very stuck up, and a good sword fighter. Spike scanned the park and discovered a group of sword fighters. Spike jumped up and walked over. There were three men, one old, and two in their early twenties. The old man had a simple sword, which looked like it was made out of wood. The two around him had expensive, sharp swords of metal. The old man dipped and tucked around the two, the first with black hair made a leap for him, missed, and rolled on the ground. The second, who had blonde hair lunged at the old man, caught his blade with the old mans sword, and the old man pushed him off. The blonde stumbled back and fell.

"It's not the sword that holds the power my friends, but the owner." The old man said putting away his sword. The two young men looked at each other, then the old man, then followed his stare at Spike. Spike held out Simon's picture. The old man seemed to read Spike like a book.

"That's Simon." He said. The two young men stood up and snickered.

"What do you know about him?" Spike asked

"He was a student of mine." The old man said. The man with black hair laughed

"He was the only student that got kicked out." He looked at the blonde, who explained

"Simon tried to kill his own teacher because he wasn't that good. So he got kicked out, and now he somehow became famous for his sword skills."

"What's the name of the school you teach?" Spike asked the old man.

"Mars Men Sword School."  The old man answered. Then the one with black hair studied Spike

"I know who you are." He said, the blonde nodded "You're a bounty hunter, huh? I can tell, look you better have your head fasten tight on your shoulders to take Simon on, his head is almost bigger than his ego, if you know what I mean."

Spike nodded, the old man told him where Simon used to live, and still did. Then the two young men wished him luck, but Spike told them he didn't need it.

                Spike decided to go back to the Bebop and sleep on it. He trotted back home just in time for soup. Apparently Edward was hiding a whole box under her bed, and was eating it cold. Spike finished his soup, burped and layed down in front of the TV

"I have a secret." Faye cooed.

"Good. Then keep it to yourself." Spike said throwing his spoon at her. Faye disregarded his comment and pressed on

"But I guess I can tell you."

"No. If you tell me I'll tell the whole freakin' universe." Spike said trying to ignore her. Faye leaned close to him

"I have a boyfriend." She said sweetly. Spike looked up at her

"Then will you be leaving us, dearest?" Spike asked. Faye grinned

"Don't hold your breath." She said sitting down. Spike had to admit he was a little interested; he wanted to know what idiot wanted to go out with her

"Who did you string up this time?" Spike asked.

"He won't tell me his full name, but his first name is Simon." Faye grinned. Spike jumped up

"What?"

"Do you know him?"

"No, but, damnitt!" Spike yelled 

"Is there something I should know?" Faye asked. Spike didn't want Faye on the job, so he decided to keep his mouth shut

"No Faye, nothing at all."

**Ok, tell me how you liked it and if you're ready for the next chapter**


	2. If Men are from Mars, then where are Wom...

As promised, chapter 2

If Men are from Mars, then where are Women from?

Jett liked his plants. They were the only things on the ship that wouldn't talk back, with the exception of Ein of course, but that thing barked like no tomorrow. Speaking of quiet, the ship was unusually quiet.

"Hello!" Ed said popping up from behind him. Jett yelled and fell over

"Ed!!" Jett said getting to his feet. Ed flinched and ran away, arms flying behind her. Jett sighed and pulled the chair upright. 

                Spike walked in

"I heard something fall," Spike said walking in. Jett shot him a look that could have killed a cat.

"What?" Spike asked smiling. Jett growled and turned to his plants. Spike shrugged and walked away. He was going to tell him about Faye's little affair, but it wasn't worth Jett falling over again, or maybe it was.

"Hey Jett." Spike said turning back around

"What?" Jett barked

"Faye has a boyfriend."

"Oohhhh." Ed said behind them. Jett glared at her, and she scampered away singing.

"I don't care if she has a boyfriend Spike." Jett said turning away from him

"You know who it is?" Spike pressed.

"Your mother?" Jett answered bitterly. 

"No, it's Simon, the bounty were after." Spike smirked. Jett slowly turned around

"What?" he asked 

"Yep."

"You don't think she's after the bounty do you?" Jett asked. Spike's eyes flashed. He had never thought of that.

"No," Spike said. Then the two gave a nervous laugh. Then they looked at each other and Spike raced for the Swordfish II.

                Faye laughed nervously as Simon paced back and forth.

"I should have known you were a bounty hunter." Simon growled. Faye struggled under the ropes that cut into her skin and were tied so tight she couldn't move her fingers. She had attempted to fight him, and then he pulled out that damned sword of his and almost scared up her Asian perfection. So she let him tie her up.

"What are you going to do about it? Keep me like this?"

"Well, if you keep talking, I'll just slit your pretty little throat."

"Right, sorry.'

"Shut up." Simon suddenly thundered. He turned around and grabbed a sword and started to walk to the front door.

"Idiot." Faye said to herself struggling. Then she looked down

"Ruff." An orange and white dog barked loudly. Then it stuck out its tong and gave a small whine. Then Ed, with all her grace and agility, fell off the rafters above Faye, crashed into a rack of swords and medals and rolled up to Faye and Ein

"Hello!" Ed said, saluting Faye. Normally, Faye would have attacked Ed, but because she was temporally tied up, and there was a mad man out there running around with a sword, she restrained herself. Ein bit at the rope and freed Faye.

Simon walked outside, but someone was standing in front of him, blocking his way out of his yard.

"Yes?" Simon asked. The man blocking his way held up a gun and smiled

"Hello Simon." Spike said cigarette hanging loosely out of his mouth.

"Nice jacket you got there." Simon said sarcastically pointing with his sword to Spikes pink jacket.

"Thanks." Spike said shooting his gun. But Simon sliced the gun out of Spikes hand suddenly. It was just a flesh wound. Spike looked up and grinned

"I've heard about you. Your one of those smart ass rich boys huh? I bet you have a really big bounty on your head." Spike said. Simon tilted his head

"Your not afraid?" Simon asked. Spike laughed

"Your funny." Spike said jump kicking Simon. Simon moved back, but wasn't quick enough, the kick hit him square in the chest.

"You ass!" Simon yelled slashing at Spike. Spike skipped around him, jumping, ducking, and dodging all of Simon's wild swings

"I thought this was going to be a challenge, the way people talk about you." Spike said dropping down and taking out Simon's ankles. Simon fell, and then flipped back up. He held his sword ahead of him and breathed hard

"I'm going to kill you." Simon said, not smiling. Spike smiled

"I hear that a lot, trust me." Spike back up a little, knowing Simon was going to go crazy. Which he did, Simon thrusted the sword down and almost got Spike, but he was to fast. Spike threw off his jacket, spit out his ciggertte and moved back and forth like a boxer. Simon tried to slice Spike again, but Spike jumped away.

"Come over here and fight me like a man!!" Simon screamed. Spike shrugged and grabbed a steal bar and spinning it on his finger tips and lunged at Simon. Simon blocked with ease, and moved behind Spike. Spike blocked Simons back slash and turned around, and swung at Simon's head. Simon blocked, Spike swung at his feet, Simon went to block it, but Spike had faked it and went for Simon's head again, knocking the guy on the ground.

"NO!!" Faye said behind Spike. She ran at him with a golf club she found in the yard

"What the hell?" Spike turned. Faye hit him strait on the head, knocking him down

"That's my bounty, my money, got it?"

"Damnitt Faye!! He's gunna get away."

"No he's not"

"Yes he is!!"

"You knocked him out he's right there!" Faye pointed past Spike, but then her finger dropped, Simon was gone. Spike jumped up and was about to tackle Faye, then stopped and ran after Simon.

Then there was a screech and Simon yelled, and then there was a bone crushing sound. Spike slid around the corner. 

Jett had Simon by the collar.

Jett had turned in Simon and got enough money to put beef in the bell peppers and beef dish he was so well known for on the Bebop.

"Oh I can't wait!" Faye said clasping her hands together.

"What?" Spike asked holding ice on his head.

"Jett promised to make me a special dish for setting up Simon for you boys," Faye said like she just won a prize.

"Really?" Spike said smiling.

"Dinner!" Jett said walking in putting down plates. Ed grabbed her plate and sat on the table eating, giving Ein some of her beef. Spike gulped down his food, then sipped his beer, and then went back to downing his dinner. Jett picked at his food, looking at Faye grinning.

                Faye looked down

"What the hell is this?" Faye said showing Jett the plate. It had some sort of grass in it with mud parts and dead bugs

"It's called a salad, I made it just for you."

"You're joking!" Faye threw her head back and laughed "That's funny, where my dinner." Faye asked not smiling anymore. Spike looked at her. Jett shrugged

"If you don't want it, I could throw it out," Jett suggested. Faye grumbled and looked at Ed

"Want to give Aunty Faye some yum yums?" Faye asked Ed. Ed barked like a dog, covering her food defensively.

"Give me some!" Faye yelled reaching for it. Ed ran with the food, Ein close behind. Faye jumped up and sprinted after Ed

"Get back here!!" Faye screamed

"NO! Evil Faye Faye!! Go away!!" Ed screamed running into the bathroom and locking the door. Faye pounced onto the door and tried to kick it open, but with no luck. So she walked back to the table, with all the grace she had left, and sat down

"Men are pigs." She said shortly, glaring at Spike and Jett.


End file.
